As we get older, the topic of death becomes a more familiar part of life. We witness our friends and family members pass away, and we become more aware of our own mortality. While it may be a difficult topic to discuss, it's important to understand what it means to have a 'good death' and how we can ensure that we or our loved ones can have one.
What makes a good death?
Boiling it down, having a ‘good death’ is about being able to maintain control and independence during the process, and having the opportunity to make decisions that are right for you. A good death is one that fits the person who is dying, so yours may look quite different to someone elses.
For many people, it means dying peacefully and free from pain, somewhere comfortable, with the people they love nearby. For some, it is about being at home rather than in hospital. Others want to stay aware of what is happening for as long as possible, so they have the chance to say goodbye and tie up loose ends.
What most people wish is to stay in control; to keep making their own decisions for as long as they can, and to know those decisions will be respected.
Talk about it while you can
The most useful thing you can do is to have conversations about end-of-life care with loved ones and healthcare providers, while you are well enough to do so. It can feel awkward to raise, but it takes the guesswork out of things for the people who may one day need to make decisions on your behalf.
It helps to know what options are available to you. Things you might want to think about include:
- where you would be cared for, and where you would like to die
- who you would like to have with you
- how you would like pain and other symptoms managed
- whether you would want palliative or hospice care
- whether assisted dying is something you want to find out more about.
What palliative care offers
Palliative care is a specialised form of medical care that focuses on relieving pain and other symptoms of serious illness. It can be provided in any setting, including in a person's home, and is designed to improve the quality of life for the person and their family. Palliative care can also help you and your family better cope with the emotional and spiritual aspects of dying.
Your beliefs and traditions
For older people, it's also important to consider how their cultural and spiritual beliefs may influence your end-of-life care. Different cultures have different beliefs about death and dying, and it's important your beliefs are respected and honoured. This can include decisions about burial or cremation, as well as any religious or spiritual rituals that may be desired.
Keeping your dignity and control
Another aspect of a good death is being able to maintain your dignity and sense of control. This can include decisions about where you want to die, who you want to be present, and what kind of care you want to receive.
To make these decisions with confidence, you may need some practical help along the way. Eldernet lists legal and financial services that can support you to put your plans in place.
Updated: 30 Sep 2026