You may have had concerns about your relative for some time. Or this situation you’re now facing may be totally unexpected. When the recommendation for residential care is made you may have mixed feelings. Perhaps you worry that you or the health professionals are being too hasty, or you feel you should provide the care yourself.
These pressures are common and the feelings natural. They take time to work through. Recognising them is a good step towards making better decisions.
Often a variety of family/whānau members come together at this time to help with finding a new home. It’s possible you will disagree about what’s best so try to understand that you will be seeing things from different perspectives.
If you are making this decision with or on behalf of a relative it’s important to put aside your own values, likes and dislikes and to put yourself in your relative’s place. How well do you know their likes and dislikes? What sort of environment do they like? Do they have links with their community? Do you want your relative to move closer to you; if so, why? If your relative has a good friend, ask their opinion; they often know them even better than you do.
Avoid making decisions that make you feel better or are what you want. Take the time to choose the home that your relative would have chosen for themselves.
Read the information in the section on Rest homes, care homes & residential care and the make use of the Checklist. You'll find lots there to help guide you.